Death, Thy Name is Meal Moth

RP recently said that one of the things he loves about me is that I never yell. Well, there's a simple explanation for that; he is not a meal moth.

A mere month into my new life of marriage and I was relatively proud of my household management skills (well, aside from the living/breathing/eating/sleeping/lounging on a mattress on a floor for the better part of three weeks); I bought groceries, cooked dinner, even planned FHE a time or two.

I guess you could say I was feeling pretty good about domestic life.

That is, until the meal moths arrived.

Like a thief in the night (except more like a vermin from the bulk whole wheat bin at Henry's Market), the moths arrived in my baking cupboard. RP was the first to notice, as he was well-acquainted with pest-infested kitchens due to his life of bachelorhood.

You could say it was a low point for these high Prices.

It was then that I realized the four stages of meal mothery:

1. DENIAL

Me: "What are these stupid little moths?"
RP: "They look like the kind that live in your flour."
Me: "That's ridiculous. That's weevil, and we certainly don't have those."
RP: "No, I've had them before. They live in flour."
Me: "There's no way. We're not THOSE kind of people."

==== One Google Search Later ====

2. ANGER

Me: "Get out here, you filthy vermin!"
Me: "You sick SOBs!"
==== Throws Away All Baking Products ====
Me: "Get a job and buy your OWN flour, you freeloading b------s!"
Me: "I'll kill you, your women and your children too!"

3. VENGEANCE

Riddle: How do you get back at meal moths?
Answer: Spend $20 on Amazon on food-grade pesticides and $50 at Costco on air-tight containers. Then smoke the buggers out with a concoction of Lysol and diatomaceous earth. Then you bury your head under the covers while your husband cleans out the cupboard and sprinkles in the poison.

4. RESOLUTION

Conclusion #1: I never had pest issues until I moved in with a boy.
Conclusion #2: On the other hand, boys are perfect for dirty jobs like touching infested flour.
Conclusion #3: I wouldn't have this problem if I ate out for every meal.
Conclusion #4: I love RP. Almost as much as I hate meal moths.


PS: Yes, I do like Fiber One and black licorice Altoids that much.