Children, and Other Mysteries

I’ve noticed that sometimes, God realizes talents within you that you haven’t perceived for yourself, and plucks you from your comfortable garden level to bloom in one untended.

And sometimes, he just likes a good comedy.

The case of “Sister Price” being called to teach primary is a firm example of the latter.

I admit I thought I had this in the bag. I sat in on my little class a week before their former teacher left, and chuckled at how easy this would be. These four-year-olds FLIPPED for goldfish crackers and thought the Liahona was the coolest thing since Dora (is she still the most popular explorer?!).

So I showed up with my lesson and a homemade batch of my tried-and-tested BEST EVER chocolate-chip cookies, to be unveiled as a ploy to keep the kiddos quiet.

SP: “If you can be reverent, guess what’s in my bag? (with an air of incredulity)”

Miniature People: “What, what?”

SP: “Chocolate chip cookies!”

I sprung the chewy goodies from my bag and tried to hold back my smugness.

Miniature Person #1: “Oh. I don’t like chocolate chip.”

Miniature Person #2: “Do you have sugar cookies?”

Miniature Person #3: “My daddy makes better cookies.”

One child didn’t verbally complain, but threw himself on the floor in front of his chair, for reasons unknown.

10 minutes later I’d finished my lesson and had nothing left to say to these people.

“Um, who can tell me about a time they felt the Holy Ghost?”

Every child raised their hands.

SP: “Yes?”

Miniature Person #1: “One time, my Daddy dressed me up for Halloween like an X-Man!”

SP: “Hmm...That’s interesting, but not really applicable. Anyone else?”

Miniature Person #2: “Have you ever had strawberry ice cream?”

SP: “Can anyone answer the question about the Holy Ghost?”

The same child threw himself on the floor.

And finally,

SP: “Who wants to play duck-duck-goose?”