It seems like every weekend there's some "gem" that comes out of RPs mouth that makes me think, "I gotta write this down (or 'I gotta get divorced')." Sadly, by the time Monday comes around, I've usually forgotten whatever bizarre thought he felt right about vocalizing.
Such was not the case this weekend, I'm happy to report. RP graced me with not one, but two entertaining (read: offensive and worry-inducing) conversations this weekend:
Saturday we decided to stop by the animal shelter in order to tempt ourselves into caring for a living thing (to no avail). RP went straight for the rabbit cages. As we were leaving:
RP: "I think I'd like a dog and a rabbit, but they need to grow up together."
KP: "Grow up together?"
RP: "Yeah, we just need to get a puppy and a baby bunny at the same time."
KP: "Well, we don't have time for either, so that sounds a bit unrealistic."
RP: "Well, we'd do it when you have a baby; so you can take care of them when you're bored at home."
KP: "So I get a new baby, a puppy, and a baby rabbit to take care of?"
RP: "........won't that be fun?"
The second came as I was (ironically) packing my gym bag on Sunday night in hopes that it would motivate me to actually get up on Monday at the stroke of 5 am. I walked into the living room, where RP was busy being productive (read: watching the Pro Bowl).
RP: "Whoa!"
KP: "What?"
RP: "There was an earthquake!"
KP: "There was?"
RP: "I think so."
KP: "Hmm, I didn't feel it."
RP: "Well, I'm not sure. It might have been an earthquake, but it might have just been you walking into the room."
Somehow I still love this man. Ain't life bizarre?
I LOVE this recap...it makes most of what MW says seem fairly normal??
ReplyDeleteExample:
At the doctor and I had to put on one of those awkward back-tie gowns. Completely frustrated I ask MW for help to which he replies, "it's not the gown...you just aren't skinny enough..." in all seriousness he felt he was helping solve the problem. Oh love.