I should just be frank about it; I’ve seen too many Lifetime Original Movies. And about half of these educational masterpieces warned me against marrying a man who had a second life to hide (the other half gave me tips on bulimia and illicit affairs with younger men).
Well, I’m beginning to have my own Lifetime Original suspicions at the Price house lately. Sure, RP’s a standup guy. Just last week when I dropped a wooden iguana in a cheap gift shop in Costa Rica, it was RP who insisted on going back to pay for its broken tail.
That said, I’ve been receiving some unsettling mail. Well, to be fair, I’ve been retrieving some of RP’s unsettling mail.
It appears that Richard F Price has been neglecting his child support duties in West Virginia.
And while my husband is Richard W Price, I have a few ideas of what the F could stand for.
Thus far, we’ve been ignoring these messages. However, while basking in the Central American sun, RP was apparently summoned to trial in West Virginia.
For someone who refers to children as inanimate objects and has, more than once, suggested putting a baby in the shed to live (where we can’t hear him/her), it’s not overly surprising that he’s neglected his fatherly duties.
That said, I don’t want to be played by Delta Burke or Shelley Long (you know they’d end up choosing Delta) anytime in the near future.
For now, I’m turning a blind eye to RP’s West Virginian indiscretions. And, as long as he continues to clean the bathroom and wash my car, we might be able to come to a permanent agreement.
In the meantime, will the real R(W)(F)P please stand up?
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