Gratitude (and Peace Out, America)

There’s just a few short hours left until Thanksgiving, and since I’ll be an expatriate for this most American of holidays (yeah, Canada, I said it), I thought it best to document my gratitude early.

This year especially, I have lots to be thankful for – and not just because Target opened within a 5-mile vicinity of my house or the fact that they’re doing one more season of Arrested Development (although these items should, by no means, be ignored).

For one, I spent the better part (keyword here: better) married to RP, who is a near-perfect husband (keyword here: near). I don’t know how I ended up deserving this devastatingly handsome man who puts up with me chewing a pack of gum and drinking 2-3 diet cokes each day, reprogramming all his radio presets to Christmas stations, and taking up a new (and most likely expensive) hobby/obsession every 28 days. Not to mention he makes the bed every morning, cleans the house, understands my need for multiple gym memberships, and makes sure I never have to wash a car (not that I ever would).

I’m also thankful for erythritol. This all-natural, zero-calorie sweetener has changed my outlook on life—and peanut butter cookies (please don’t turn out to be some ultra-radioactive carcinogen that turns my muscles to mush and my babies into monkeys).

I’m awfully thankful for funny people – like Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, RP, and my papa. They make life (and evening television programming) all kinds of fun.

I’m super grateful there wasn’t another “Doppelganger Week” on Facebook this year.

I’m thankful that RP has begun to warm to the idea of having children. By “warm,” I mean he no longer refers to them as inanimate objects (“it,” “that thing”) and now talks about them with distant possibility in his voice (“when we’re old and have nothing left to live for and have a baby……”).

I wanted to limit the number of food items that made my list this year (usually they take up about 93 %), but I need to express my love for gourds. Especially pumpkins. Your seeds are delicious. You roast up beautifully, and as it turns out, you’re very simple to make a pie out of – no can required.

I’m thankful for Jet Blue and Virgin America. Other airlines, you suck.

I’m terribly grateful for Amazon.com. From Kindle books to dietary supplements to Rafe handbags, you bring me everything I want with free second-day shipping. That’s my kind of man – I mean website.

I’m thankful for early-morning boot camp. And even though I threw out my back and suffered four months of sciatic nerve pain from it, it totally rocks.

I’m thankful that, with all the screwed up families in the world, I ended up with TWO of the best. The Radfords and Prices are pretty great peeps.

I’m grateful to Joe’s Jeans for now making shirts and t-shirts. RP is not grateful that I now own about 7 of their plaid button-ups.

I’m thankful for Erik Larsson. Your books have made 2011 that much more knowledgeable.

I’m thankful for Sprouts Farmer’s Market. Where else would I buy wheat bran, psyllium husks and whey protein isolate in bulk?

I’m grateful for Steve Jobs. Thanks for making the world so much cooler and eliminating boredom from the lives of anyone with an iPhone.

I’m thankful for Michael Vick – even if I wouldn’t let him puppy-sit.

I’m grateful for Groupon (and desperately wish I’d come up with it myself). In 2011, it’s been responsible for countless new restaurants, cheap movie tickets, and RP’s 20/15 vision.

I’m REALLY REALLY thankful for awesome wedding gifts. And even though I have yet to send out all my thank you’s (I have a year, right), I really am going to. Promise.

I’ll say it again, like I have in two previous posts: Happy Thanksgiving, all